I made it back from Atlanta in one piece and things have been full speed ahead since my flight touched back down in Houston. It's really hard for me to even accept the fact that it is already September. Where did time go? What have I been doing with myself? It feels as if I have been too consumed with life to find time to enjoy the simple things I enjoy, such as writing....I keep reminding myself not to get lost in the day to day, but it gets hard at times. To say the least, I guess I'm caught up in living my dreams. I'm working...and will be starting on a new endeavor this month, a fellowship that is going to give me a gigantic boost in my legal career and hopefully allow me to touch thousands...a lot of travel, a lot of learning, and a lot of what I love most...public service.
Things have still been going well with the Mr. It's almost surreal. I've never had a man in my life who respects me and genuinely seems to enjoy me. It's a total change from the past. I just wish I still didn't have the memories lingering in my head. The doubts, the fears, the insecurities...they're all still there. I have no confidence. I worry constantly thinking he is going to magically turn into the person I fought so hard to get away from. It terrifies me to think that these feelings of extreme happiness could disappear at the drop of a dime. I know I can't let suspicions from a previous relationship follow me into a new one, so I must constantly remind myself that he is not him. I got hurt for so long, that I know I'm only trying to sabotage myself into never getting hurt again. I just really need to let go and enjoy the moment....not think that every man will have the same intent as my ex boyfriend........ on a lighter note, me and the Mr. have some pretty fun trips planned and are going to do it extremely big for our birthdays in November. He makes me feel special, appreciated...worthwhile. I truly enjoy him.
The Lord has truly been blessing me, and I know with blessings come adversaries trying to steal your joy from you. I know it is pertinent I stay firmly rooted in my faith, or else none of this will last. It's hard sometimes, especially when those around me are not as fortunate as I am right now. I really wish I could live in a world where all of my friends could be experiencing happiness at once. I just pray that soon we will all be on the same page. My prayer is for everyone to be prosperous, in love and happy. I know that's a big request, but I think we all deserve it...........
I'm sure there are more things I have failed to mention, but my mind just cant grasp any concepts beyond bed.....Until later, goodnight......
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