"...Your will be done" - Matthew 6:10

caught up...

I've finally caught up. Either the winter really was causing me to be melancholy, or I'm just happy to see that Spring is finally making a guest appearance in Texas. The sun was out, and despite the fact that I had a mini-hangover all day (2 margaritas/2 patron &pineapple juice + one lbs of snow crab legs) I did get out the house this afternoon for a little shopping. This was overall a pleasant weekend.

Unfortunately, I'm predicting tomorrow will be kind of sad for more than one reason. Tomorrow would be my older brother's birthday if he were still here...regardless of how long someone has been gone, memories of them will forever be present. I know you can't stop God, or be too angry at His will...but it still sucks that some people don't get to be around as long as others... I'm grateful to have known him though, even if I was only around for a short portion of his life.

Also, tomorrow will be the last day for two of my friends at work. Budget cuts are hitting legal aid hard, and budget cuts at our firm are causing layoffs amongst attorneys and support staff. Fortunately my fellowship lasts until September, but depending on budgets I'm not sure if my contract will get extended past that month or not. I'm trying not too worry, but I am not looking forward to playing the waiting game with regards to my career. Thankfully, I have been in this position before and know how to work on my own if need be. That's one good thing about being an attorney in a big city, enough cases to go around for everybody if the market slows down.... I'm well equipped to handle a variety of cases and definitely have ambition to work for whatever I want. The Lord has cared for me and provided for me beyond my wildest dreams. I trust in Him and believe that he indeed keeps promises, so I must stand in my faith and attempt not to let my neurotic self cause me to freak out prematurely..........

Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your request to GOD. And the peace of GOD which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and mind in CHRIST JESUS."

I'm excited that a new season is upon us. A time for change, growth and newness. Things have been going well with my boyfriend and I, and we continue to learn more about each other....and attempt to not kill each other when we disagree on things. We're also learning that communication is the most important aspect to have to ensure relationship success. I know with him I have difficulty saying things in a manner that doesn't offend or confuse him, but with each day I learn that I can share everything with him and regardless of if we agree or not we can at least try to compromise. I need to work on my communication skills, and understanding that our relationship should not suffer because of insecurities created by a past relationship. He deserves a fair chance, and things that were red flags with my ex have completely different meanings with him. Entirely different people. An entirely different romance. But I'm learning. Still a work in progress.

Meanwhile, I've decided I want to celebrate my birthday this year in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Yes, November is months away..but I want to have things paid for early, in case any unforeseen expenses surface.

Life has been going pretty well. I have no serious complaints. No situation has occurred that I don't think I'm not spiritually equipped to handle. I'm trying to grow stronger in my faith, and I think I have been making progress thus far. I've even decided to download on my nook, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. Brittany from Three Years Down has appeared to be going down a whole road of self discovery from reading this book and I've been super intrigued since I saw her post related to her reading. I may need to take a Starbucks break in the morning and get it...I do have a $50 Barnes & Noble gift card to use courtesy of the Mr...... It appears that I have done enough rambling for the evening, so I shall stop now.

***** My boyfriend had flowers delivered to my job.... Just because!!! *****

positioning myself for greatness....

it's hard to calculate your next step, especially in this economy. success to me means more than having a lucrative career..it embodies more than just degrees and accolades, titles too.
but what do i need to do to be great.
i know i have to work in order to sustain, but what do i want to do that will allow me to reach my full potential?
i should be patient, and stop looking so far ahead in the future.
i've come so far, and God is too good to let me spiral down past any point of being unrepairable.
i feel like i'm on the right path.
now just let me be great.

1yr.......

I have officially been working at my firm for a year now. I've learned a lot, but still feel like I have so much farther to go with regards to my legal career. I enjoy the work I do and I love helping people, but I still wonder if where I'm at now is where God thinks I can do the most work for the benefit of His people(and earn a good living for myself in the process)... I think working with low income clients will make me a better attorney in the long run...I can definitely see the passion behind all of the legal aid attorneys I have met this past year and really feel honored to have been able to do my part serving those in need. It's kind of humbling and I am disappointed in myself for sometimes taking for granted the work I do. I know I could have chosen a completely different path with regards to my career...but I am happy the Lord saw fit for me to be in this place at this time. I need to work harder and continue to do the best work I can possibly do. This is a milestone in my career that I probably would not have fathomed 2 yrs ago....but I am ever so grateful. My life could be so different than it is now. I should take nothing for granted, and continue to remain faithful in His promise.

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." - Judy Garland

looking forward to.......

March....

I know February isn't over but I do have a lot of fun things lined up for next month.

The Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo......The food is amazing and Janet Jackson is performing....

Cirque de Soleil............ AND..........

Seeing Eric Roberson in concert. He is one of my favorite neo-soul artists and I am beyond excited.....

I'm also thinking I may need to schedule some off days from work to enjoy spring break..... Maybe that will be the motivation I need to refocus :-)

refocus

So far I have been struggling to gain control of my agenda and take the necessary time to get organized... I find myself being overly exhausted....downright lethargic even. It's hard to get things accomplished when I find myself drifting throughout the day, and not even putting forth effort to reach my maximum potential. I really need to refocus. I have so much to do, but lack the energy to get excited about doing it. I know I'm blessed and I really need to change my outlook on life before I jeopardize the favor that has been bestowed upon me. My to-do lists keep growing, as do my urge to run straight home and go to bed the minute I leave work....

I've realized that it is easy to get burnt out in the legal field. I've talked to numerous friends and even read similar stories from attorney bloggers, and I really do believe that this career path is ridiculously demanding on the spirit. I enjoy helping people, but I really do need to find some sort of balance between work and enjoying life to the fullest(without allowing work to keep me hostage underneath my covers from being so worn out).

I need to readjust, realign and refocus..........

"After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you." (1 Peter 5:10)

Apparently February is planning to fly by. I didn't even realize that this week was almost over...I barely noticed that January was gone. Either I've been doing too much lately, or I'm not doing enough things of meaning to make me remember what my days entailed.