yawn......

I pretty much have been awake since 2:45 this morning, and now I am at my desk wishing I was still in bed. On the bright side, the morning is going by rather quickly, tomorrow is Friday and I'm off work for a week and can fully enjoy my holiday! I truly need the time to relax, enjoy and refocus before my return to work.

I've been slightly stressed lately. I've been increasing my prayers and time with the Lord and just trying to be diligent as I continue my search. I truly need a change of pace, and would like to take a new direction with regards to my career path. I'm so thankful and blessed for the work I have been doing this past two years since I have been licensed, but now I know in my heart it is time for a change. Patience has never been my strongest characteristic, but I am trying to wait on the Lord to move. Luckily I have had the support of those who I consider my true friends, and my boyfriend of course, but it is hard these days to make the decision to try something different. I have faith in God and my abilities, so everything should work out accordingly. It's just the waiting period that I am not enjoying. But, until then..... here I am. Waiting, praying and yawning......

Insomnia. At 3:22 in the morning. Is. No. Fun.

Give your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall. -Psalms 55:32

thanks in advance

I was about to write a post about being nervous and anxious as I attempt to be a willing participant in this un-welcomed waiting game.....But then I remembered this verse.... and realized that all I can do is pray and give thanks, and He will make a way for me.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

There are only a few days left in June, and I must say that in the midst of the sweltering Houston heat, my summer has been pretty nice thus far. Summer is usually my least favorite season...even as a child I loathed the summertime. I'm more of a Fall/Spring girl myself. I don't like being hot, I hate sweating, and I despise hurricanes(and bugs, and re-runs, and dry skin, and summer clothes(except dresses))... I took some days off next week to enjoy an extended 4th of July weekend(unless things change drastically between now and next week *crosses fingers*)and hopefully can get some much needed rest and relaxation before things get busy again. I would love to take a mini-vacation somewhere but I think we should probably save the money and wait until the Fall, when it is not as hot outside. Nothing too exciting has occurred lately, just a lot of enjoying the simple things. My boyfriend and I went to a cooking class last week which was pretty cool. I'd never been to a class like that before and I must admit I felt rather metropolitan chic during the entire time. Now, if only we could invest in one of those indoor grills.... I'd also like to finish the latest books I have downloaded on my nook.....

In a way I feel like no news is good news, so I am very glad with the lack of matters to report. I like simplicity, and am saying thanks in advance for all of these things.

light

Soaring past existence,
morphing
flying
color changing
growing.
It is life,
fantasy
faith
dreams and visions,
surrounding me.
Floating,
effortlessly
carefree
without boundaries.
Filled with passion,
love
desires
fulfilled.
I can see His face,
amongst blazing lights.
My Redeemer.
I am saved.


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Stay loyal to your vision, but be strong enough not to lose sight of it when faced with the opportunity to go in another direction. -me

faith

:fidelity to one's promises. In particular, Him.

the word

Look for Opportunity

TODAY’S SCRIPTURE
“Pray for us, too, that God will give us many opportunities to speak about His mysterious plan concerning Christ. That is why I am here in chains”
(Colossians 4:3, NLT)

TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria
When Paul wrote today’s verse, he was in chains in prison. He had been arrested for preaching the gospel. Everything in his surroundings shouted “limitations,” but instead of looking at his surroundings, Paul kept his eyes on the limitless God. He kept looking for the open door of opportunity that God would have for him next.

No matter what “chains” you may feel like you are in today, remember, we serve a God who’s in the business of setting people free. When you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, He fills you with His power. He promises to walk with you all the days of your life.

When doors look closed all around you, when your surroundings look limited, when you feel like you’re in chains, remember, God is still at work in your life. Like Paul, keep your hopes up. Keep expecting. Keep believing. Pray for those opportunities to be opened to you. If you fall, get back up and press forward with even greater determination to accomplish the dream that God has planted in your heart. The prayer of the righteous avails much, so keep praying because He promises to break the chains and open doors of opportunity in your life!

A PRAYER FOR TODAY
Father in heaven, I choose to take my eyes off my surroundings and focus on You. I choose to focus on the passion and dream You’ve planted in my heart. I trust that You are working behind the scenes, opening doors of opportunity. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

— Joel & Victoria Osteen

changes...

I felt the need to do some remodelling of sorts, and changed the layout on my blog. Since this is a season of change, I figured I may as well make some adjustments here too. Today I sent up a petition to the Lord, and I am waiting patiently for Him to show me once again just how great He is. I'm waiting expectantly for all the great things He has in my future and I can't wait for these changes to occur. Faith is replacing all doubt in my life. Moving forward. Thanking God in advance.

love is....

lazy Saturdays,
a kiss for no reason,
dry cleaning & errands on a sweltering summer day.
fights, followed by make ups...
and more make up,
more kisses...

me and you.

I randomly heard this song on the radio and was reminded of how much I like it.....

spa day.

I went to the spa yesterday after work...and I officially think I need to implement a monthly spa routine into my life. The world is filled with stress, and I think zoning out is essential to existence. My boyfriend and I got a couple's massage at a place called The Petit Retreat last month and it was just what we needed...I also think those type of activities are healthy for connecting and keeping peace in a relationship. I'm already in the process of looking for the next place I can try........

sabbatical

....so I have decided to take a break from facebook. I already deleted my twitter account a few weeks ago, but now I really think I need a break from the world of facebook. I have a habit of creating obsessions. I become fascinated with searching, looking, knowing...damn near stalking. I have to break that habit. This all developed during my time with the ex. It was the only way I could look for information and find clues as to what dirt he was doing and what he was doing with certain people. Not the best idea, because in the midst of satisfying my obsession, I created a manic sense of paranoia and probably did more damage to myself than good. My boyfriend has not given me any reason to doubt him whatsoever, but I feel old habits resurfacing deep within me and I refuse to become the person I once was before. I can't continue to be my own worst enemy and I have to really let go of all the bad habits that were developed during a bad time in my life....therefore, no facebook. When I feel the urge has subsided, I will return...until then...sabbatical.

more randomness

...It seems like everyday I have been learning something new..often times about myself, and sometimes other people. I have been in a transitioning period of sorts. A lot of thinking, soul searching and heartfelt prayer. One thing that I have noticed, even at this stage of some recent changes, is that positive thinking and positive people make a ton of difference in maintaining a healthy existence. If you keep negative people in your life or constantly inundate yourself with drama and negativity, it really does weigh on your spirit. If every conversation you have with someone is about something negative or bad then it really does dampen your thoughts. When I hang with positive people or try to see the good in a situation regardless of unknown outcomes, I feel better about myself. My week has been going well since I stopped absorbing all of the details of other peoples' negativity. I can't afford to complain, but what I can afford to do is keep trusting in God. I have proof of his power in the things that have happened in my life....sustainability, health, options. It feels good to think good things. It feels even better when you can be around good people who motivate you and encourage you to do even greater things.

Lessons & Randomness~ Always make time for yourself and be comfortable being alone. Make time for those who matter..sisters, real friends, soul mates and God.

that night

He held on tight, dragging me to some unknown location amongst the waves and sand. I really was not in the mood for any adventures that night, but he was persistent, paranoid even. I, being the practical girl I am, had not prepared for an evening of twilight un-expectancy, but it was him guiding me through the night..and I'd do anything for him...he was in my mind, the one. I thought back to the past. A wave of emotion swept over me as my mind traveled back to a time when I had no one in my corner. I was lonely, yearning for someone or something to fill voids that had been permanently etched in my heart. I let many attempt to replace that one missing piece, but they all failed in comparison to him...love emanated from him effortlessly. He held my hand. He loved me.

Not too much longer. Another promise that I knew I could expect him to keep. He had come into my life without a plan, but it worked so well. The timing was right, he eased my apprehensiveness...quieted my doubts, restored my trust in mortal man. I still wonder at times, underestimate my worthiness. He uplifts me, reminds me that I am important and worthwhile. Rescued me from insecurity. Gave me hope. But really...why must we go further and further into the unknown..why tonight, why at this hour?

White sand decorated brown skin. Colorful shells cracked under my feet, as we journeyed further from civilization. And then, it was just he and I, and the ocean. We're here, he said. Puzzled I looked around for some recognition, something that would make sense out of his need to bring me here at this moment, at this time...but all I saw was calm. He stared longingly into my eyes and wrapped his arms tightly around me. I want to be with you forever, he said. I smiled. No, really, he said as he released me from his grasp and bent down on one knee. Sparkle caught my eye, as I felt something being placed on my finger. I want to be with you forever, he repeated, and we were......

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*mantra for the day*

"Today will be a good day, regardless of the adversity I face, negativity that tries to overshadow my blessings, the people who stand in my way attempting to block my path and all the doubt that constantly tries to creep into my head. I will only live today once, so whatever happens, I will not allow it to make this time forever tarnished in my mind. Positivity can be found in everything and every situation. HE will not let me down." -Me.

Friday Morning Inspiration

Give Your Faith
a Target


TODAY’S SCRIPTURE
“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see”
(Hebrews 11:1, NLT)

TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria
So many people today get down and discouraged because they only focus on their present circumstances. They’re constantly dwelling on their problems, what they don’t have, and what’s wrong with them. They don’t realize it, but they’re allowing the enemy to steal their hope. This negative frame of mind is what keeps people from moving forward in life.

Understand today that faith is confidence and assurance about the things we hope for according to the promises of God. Like an arrow, your faith points to the target of hope. If you don’t have hope, that arrow of faith has nothing to aim for. It won’t accomplish anything. But when you keep your hopes up, when you keep expecting and believing, it’s like making that target larger and larger and easier to hit!

Choose today to live with an attitude of expectancy. Don’t focus on your circumstances; focus on your God! Get your hopes up! Take captive every negative thought. As you focus on God’s goodness and faithfulness, you’ll feel that hope inside of you growing. Give your faith a target and move forward confidently in the direction of your dreams!



A PRAYER FOR TODAY
Father in heaven, today I surrender every thought to You. I choose to release my cares and concerns so I can focus on Your goodness. Thank You for the gift of faith to see the impossible become possible as I continue to place my hope and confidence in You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

— Joel & Victoria Osteen

I looked up and it was June. Every month it seems as if I tell myself I'm going to make more time, try harder to do the things I enjoy, such as blog and to get things balanced out so I won't continue to feel like time is getting the best of me...and each month, I find my self typing the same sentence...There's no time, there's never any time. But I digress.

Things have been hectic. Working like a Hebrew slave. Work has been draining all of my energy. I get off and I sleep. I wake up and go to work. I am. Tired. But above all I am blessed to be working, so I guess I can save my bit&h-fest for another day.

I need to be more involved in things aside from work, and professional organizations, and board agendas and things that require me to still exude various levels of professionalism. I really feel like I just need to do something that is focused solely on me. My boyfriend is off work for the entire summer, and I'm almost100% sure that him being at home while I'm in the office/court is making me even more restless than usual...but I still feel like I need to do something entertaining. I feel like I have been neglecting certain things, people included...and I also feel like some of the people who have been fortunate enough to get my time and attention probably should not have. I have been going through a transition of sorts, where I am trying to separate myself from negative people and those who bring nothing but negativity to the table..but then I realized that most of the people I have been associating with are pretty negative. I can't deal with the drama, the lack of ambition, the young-minded ideals, the eight grade-esque antics and so on & so on. Separating myself from the ex boyfriend was a major step in removing drama and unnecessary stress from my life, but it appears that alot of the people from that era in my life still reek of the same dramatics that were emanating from the ex. I really just can't. I assume it's time to just chalk up the losses and move on. Seasons. Everyone has them. I need to stop worrying so much and just do what I need to do, because I really cannot deal with it anymore.

But enough of that. I'm glad tomorrow is Friday, and I'm praying that I can get some things accomplished over the weekend. I need a fresh start. Hopefully the weekend will give me one.....

Does anyone have any suggestions of new books I should read? I got some suggestions from Autumn and a few other folks, but I am still taking suggestions...I plan on filling the Nook up with books to devour over the weekend............